Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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