don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
