I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
