i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
