i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
