did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How external is "for external use only"?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
