i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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