you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize