Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
