she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
