I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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