Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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