it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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