Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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