I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
