I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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