State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
