i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
