With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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