am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
