I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize