i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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