How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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