there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
