i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
