i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
