gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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