I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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