I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize