there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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