Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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