Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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