Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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