Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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