It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
