Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
