It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
