Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
