I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize