ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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