they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
