I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize