What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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