why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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