When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
