if you like me you must not know who I am
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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