She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
