this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
