we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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