I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
