If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
