I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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