you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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