My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
