Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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