wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
