dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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