I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Need sex. Gaining weight.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize