I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
