You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
