its not stalking. its research.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize