The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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